HAPPY NEW YEAR
2018 is finally here and I am beyond excited!
As cliche as it may seem, I am a firm believer of new beginnings and every time before the new year, I spend an amount of time reflecting on myself and all I have done throughout the year in order to set bigger goals for the next.
2017 has been a year filled with ups and downs, smiles and frowns. But it was also a year filled with many life lessons which I will be taking forward in 2018. I have set many goals for 2017 but unfortunately not all of them were achieved. Not being able to achieve the goals that I have set myself can be rather disheartening, but I have learnt not to beat myself up too hard. Instead, I should be focusing on understanding the reason behind my inability of achieving these goals and whether these were goals which I was actually passionate about.
My self-reflection allowed me to look back and understand what I have done wrong and where I should improve. The main reason behind my failure in achieving my goals were the result of my lack of planning - and it is the lack of planning which is the cause of most failures. But another prominent reason was because I have allowed myself to be discouraged by others, I inadvertently fell for the words of the naysayers and have allowed their opinions dictate my actions.
This post is dedicated to all the Ms Independents out there who has felt discouraged and disheartened in 2017.
2018 is all about setting bigger goals and not allowing what's happening around you get inside of you and weighing you down!
#1 SET BIG GOALS WITH A STRATEGY
I was told that it is better to reach for the stars and touch the sky, then to reach for the ceiling and hit it. Always dream big and set big goals, but don't forget to develop a strategy and a plan to help you achieve those goals. The best thing about the times that we live in is that it is increasingly easier to procure knowledge. How much knowledge you gain is dependent on your willingness to learn. Depending on what your goal is, it is always helpful to read a book, to attend conferences, to watch TedTalks, or simply reach out to people to talk and discuss. I had a goal where I wanted my business to gain a certain amount of revenue by the end of a month, this goal however was not achieved because I did not have a clear strategy and plan in place. But when I finally worked out a strategic plan, my goals were all attainable. So remember, set those big goals and don’t limit yourself. But also remember, if you fail to plan you plan to fail. Be specific, stay focused.
#2 GUARD YOUR GOALS,
NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO SEE YOU WIN
One mistake that I made often in 2017 was trusting the wrong people with my goals. When you have a goal in mind, there are two types of people whom you should be wary of: The Opportunist, and the Naysayers. The Opportunist are the type of people who only comes around when they could get something out of you and leave you high and dry after attaining what they hoped to attain. They are also the type of people who are willing to see you fail to make them feel better about themselves. These people only appear when you are winning; and disappear when you are 'losing'. I have experienced a fair share of success and failures in my life, and there is a classic example of an opportunist which I would like to share.
During my highest of times I had 'friends' who would fluorish me with gifts and favours, making me feel like as though I was surrounded with people whom I could trust and count on. But during my hardest of times, these 'friends' suddenly became unreachable and would often give me empty promises which I depended on. I am the type of person where if there is minor setback, I will make a major comeback, and I always do come back with higher and better. And unsurprisingly... these 'friends' pop back up!
And I started to realise something, the 'support' that I have been receiving were not genuine nor sincere, they were more like a guilt-trip system inconspiciously 'installed' so that I would remember them and return the favours when they are due.
The Naysayers on the other hand are the type of people who will tell you that your goals are amazing, but will still pick holes on them. They will convince you in any way they can that your goals are impossible and unattainable, making you doubt your every move. These naysayers however, do not often do so intentionally - sometimes it is just their personalities where they are often pessimistic about changes and big dreams. And the thing about naysayers is that they can be people who you have spent your whole life with, ie family members, childhood friends and even colleagues. Getting them out of your life is not easy but you do have a choice to never surrender your hopes and dreams to the fateful limitations others have placed on their own lives.
#3 SURROUND YOURSELF WITH LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE
Steve Harvey said: "If all seven of your friends are broke you are going to be the eighth one." Iron sharpens iron, so find people who are positive and are big thinkers like you so that you could always help each other out. One of my favourite example is my study group at University. We were a group of students adamant in achieving the best grades for our final year and we were willing to put in the hours and hard work to achieve our goal. The most important element of our friendship is that we were also a group of students who wanted to see each other WIN. In the study group, each student was proficient in different subjects and we will always take turns in leading on the topic. We worked together and made sure that we are always helping one another and bringing each other to greater heights. By the time of graduation, we all graduated with either a 2.1 or a 1st!
Having a mentor is always a way to help you achieve your goal and personally, I have three mentors! I have a business mentor, a life mentor and a spiritual mentor. These mentors of mine were people who I admire tremendously and wanted to learn from because of their level of achievements. They were also the reason behind why I often listen to motivational speeches everyday because it was crucial to fill my days with positivities and hope and dreams. My favourite motivational speakers are people like Tony Robbins, Les Brown, Oprah, and John Gray.
So please surround yourself with like-minded people, get yourself a mentor, and fill your everyday with motivational speeches to help yourself get by all the doubts and low moments.
#4 DON'T BE AFRAID TO FAIL
In order to be successful, you have to fail because failing is a part of success. My parents always told me to try my best and even if I fail, at least I have given my all. Though failing can sometimes be hurtful, I would rather live my life trying and failing than not try at all. There were times when I have failed without putting out as much work and effort as I was supposed to, and those are the failures which I regretted the most. But sometimes when I failed despite doing my absolute best, those failures tend to open up new doors for me. An example for this is when Ms Independent submitted itself for the £25,000 Aviva Community Fund to help with the business. We worked really hard for it and had given our all but still fell short by only 50 votes. This failure however, allowed us to gain a recognition among some companies and we have been receiving emails for numerous collaborations and partnerships.
Not every failure means it is over. And from every failure, there is always something to learn. So 2018, we are VERY READY for you!
To all Ms Independent, GO FOR IT.
In the famous words of my mentor Action Jackson: "Dream big!" So do not give up and never stop being a Goal Digger!